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Picture of the Week
Bowling
Alley? Movie Theater? Restaurant? ...and the answer is?
RAMBLINGS OF A RETIRED MIND.... Tuesday, January 24th, 2012.... Is it time yet? Yes, Helga said it was time - time to paint the Living Room and the Dining Room and the Kitchen and the TV Room. Bottom line, we are painting the entire first floor except for the bathroom that was done not too long ago. We probably could have gone another year without doing all this painting, but I think my wife needed to see a change in the decor. It is less expensive to paint than to buy a new house or even build one. I don't think she would want a new home because we love this one so much. So does everyone else who walks in the front door. So....last Saturday the painters arrived and the project began. I am sure everyone who knows me well, knows that I don't paint. I don't know why, but painting is my least favorite chore to do. Hmmm, come to think of it, I don't have any favorite chores. I guess that is why they call them chores. I did do one chore last week that I usually leave for my handy-man because I don't like messing with electricity. I changed a switch in the TV room. Now years ago, I would do that all the time, but today it seems easier to pick up the phone and call our handy-man. Okay, I am drifting here.... Back to painting! I can only think of one thing that is worse than painting and that is moving. Thank God, in my adult life, I have only moved three times. The last time was in 2002 when we moved into this home. We had a moving company come in and move us, but we still had to pack-up a ton of boxes. I don't even want to talk about un-boxing them. My oldest was here on vacation when we made that move. Thank God for us, but it sure wasn't a vacation for her. Back to the painting.... I know "we" could not have done this job because it was just too much. I could not imagine applying the 15 gallons of paint. It just seems overwhelming. The ceilings are 9-foot high and the living room has a vaulted ceiling that is at least 18 feet high. Enough.... I am getting exhausted just thinking about the job. The painters have been here for three days and I think they will be here for at least another three. "Keep your hands off the wall, Justin." One more item to discuss before I sign-off. That topic is COUGARS. No, we don't have cougars here, but they do have cougars in Utah. However, the citizens in Draper, Utah, do not want to use the cougar as the mascot for their new high school. I guess they have a lot of sex out there because to them a cougar is a term that refers to women in their 40's who have sex with younger men. I can't say it any better than this - the USA TODAY stated, "Sensitivity and political correctness regarding the names of athletic teams has officially reached a ridiculous peak." Now isn't that much better than what I said - "ARE THEY OUT OF THEIR EVER-LOVING MINDS?" Yes, I did censure that one.
Tuesday, January 17th, 2012.... No more pencils; no more books.... No, it is not the end of the school year. Helga and I were discussing how much education has changed since we retired in 1997. I can't believe that we have been retired that long. Our conversation started when one of the blonde beauties on FOX mentioned the word microfiche, which we both learned to use when we were in college - back in in in.... Damn, I forget the year. Well, for those who don't know and for those who are too lazy to look it up - microfiches were small sheets of microfilm on which many pages of material had been photographed from newspapers, magazines, and other sources. Then we sat in front of this monstrous magnification system which was used to display the material. Back then, I believe the only way to obtain information from the reader was to take handwritten notes. Later on, they were improved, but that is all we had in the beginning to do research. Helga reminded me that when we were in high school we could not use the encyclopedias for research. We only had books, magazines, and newspapers for references. That reminded me of my high school graduation present - a set of Americana Encyclopedias, which I didn't take with me. Okay, I won't bore you any more about doing reports or how I had to walk to the center of town to use the library at night. Thank God, it didn't snow much in Toms River. Since I started with books, let's continue discussing books. I do not believe in banning or burning books. I truly believe that it is the parents' responsibility to screen what their children are reading or watching. My daughters, who are above the age of 21, have been reading a trilogy by Suzanne Collins. I asked them if they thought I would enjoy it. They said "yes" so I read the first book. Before I read it, I looked up the reviews and recommendations. School Library Journal recommended the first book, THE HUNGER GAMES, for 7th grade and up. In the first chapter, I learned that 24 children would be selected by lottery to fight each other until only one is left standing. Seventh grade? I don't think all seventh graders are ready to handle what followed in the book. Now don't misunderstand me here - remember - I don't ban or burn books. The book was excellent! There were many of life's lessons that could be gleaned by the readers. However, this is where the parents have to step in to decide if their children can handle all the killing and suffering which happens throughout the book.
Tuesday, January 10th, 2012.... I woke up three times after 2:22 a.m. before I decided to get out of bed. Each time, I thought of an 'outstanding' opening line for my rambling today. However, as I sit here at the computer, I cannot remember what they were. I am sure that the ideas were 'spectacular' because the mind is the sharpest at that time of the day. I have plenty of topics on my list so my mind wasn't jumping around; it was only on the opening. Hmmm, should I keep a pad and pencil on my nightstand? Nightstand? Now that is an interesting word. Are the pieces of furniture next to the bed still called nightstands or is that a word from earlier days? I will have to check that out later. I am on a roll and I don't want to stop. Helga is getting dressed for 'lunch with the ladies' so I can continue to roll on. Let me ramble about GPS chips. Now, I don't have any facts to back this up, but I believe more people went missing last year than in any year since 2000. I will look that up later - maybe. When a person goes missing, a ton of money is spent looking for the missing person. This is the reason I think the government should help pay for a program to put a GPS chip in anyone who wants it. I know they have chips for dogs. However, I don't think the technology has reached the point where they can be placed in humans yet. Hmm, another item to check out later. My friend, Phil C., who lives in Deliverance, Tennessee, has been on several search teams looking for Holly Bobo, the 20 year old nursing student, who disappeared last April. Phil informed me that over the weekend the police have questioned Tony Calabrese, who they say has been interfering with the case. The latest missing person is Sherry Arnold, a mother and algebra teacher who went missing during her morning jog on Saturday in the rural town of Sidney, Montana. Let's pray they find Holly and Sherry and all the other missing people. Finally, another bird story. I know I couldn't tell the last one here. This one I can unless my editor, the wonderful Miss Helga, censors it OUT. This bird story comes from a book that I am reading. So right off the bat, I want to thank Mr. R.J. Jagger. I know my grandkids will love his tale of the OHNO bird. According to Mr. Jagger, the OHNO bird is about the size of a vulture. It is the only bird species in the world where the size of the male’s member(that's penis to my grandkids) is actually longer than its legs. Every time it comes in for a landing it makes the same sound. “OH NO, OH NO, OH NO!”
Tuesday, January 3rd, 2012.... Happy New Year to all. Let's get busy with the old and finish with the new. Right before Christmas, Antonio C. discovered that his wife, Rosa, had an affair. No big deal in today's society. I think the figure is 50% of all marriages end in divorce. So Antonio is no different than any other man, he wanted a divorce. It doesn't make any difference to Antonio that the affair took place in the 40's. Yes, in the 1940's. It doesn't matter that he has been married for 77 years, and that he is 99 years old - Antonio expected fidelity as it should be. Sorry, Rosa, but next time hide those love letters a little better so your next husband doesn't find them. Moving on to something new.... Now don't get too excited about this new calendar, that Richard Conn Henry (an astrophysicist) and Steve H. Hanke (an economist) have created. In my humble opinion, it would make life boring. They say it would save millions for banks and schools. However, like I said - B-O-R-I-N-G. Did I hear a WHY? The new Hanke-Henry Permanent Calendar would have each 12 month period identical to the one before, and it would remain that way in perpetuity. Hmm, maybe it would be good for old folks who have that CRS condition. My final item for today is the chore board. I don't know whether it is old or new. Helga and I put one up in the laundry room for our kids when they were young. I believe they had three or four chores for a two-week period. In fact, we used our pay days to change chore assignments. Yes, they did receive a stipend. I don't remember the amount, but I am sure they were not satisfied. Well, my daughter Diane and her husband JL have been talking about it. It seems my two grandsons, Justin (10) and Brady (8) have seen 'the old chore board' come back. I understand one needs an incentive to do his chores with a smile. Hmm, he takes after one of his mother's siblings. I won't say which one. I will let them argue about it. Here is a picture of the Steller's Chore Board, and here is what Diane said about it when she sent me the pictures on December 29th...."Well, the chore board is up and in effect! The official draft for the first week took place about 15 minutes ago! JL and I have decided that they will get paid $5.00 each week for doing their chores! The boys were excited about the board - we shall see how long that lasts." One final item before I sign off for the week - As most of you know, I love words. I don't know why. My vocabulary is not what it should be. However, that is for another day. I ran across the word 'avocado' last week in a local newspaper. It stated that the origin is derived from a South American Indian word that means "testicle." Yes, it is going to be a good new year!!!
Tuesday, December 20th, 2011.... Christmas is right around the corner. I hope everyone is ready. I know there are always those who procrastinate or those who enjoy shopping at the last minute; I am not one of those. I want to be done with all my shopping by this date so I can relax and prepare for all the eating and drinking and excitement. Speaking of excitement, I have been in New Jersey since last Friday and I am tired. I am not accustomed any more to this hustle and bustle of Yankee life. I have been retired and living in the South for fourteen years now. I have acclimated to the 'if we don't do it today, we can do it tomorrow' philosophy. When our kids visit us and they can't get chocolate ice cream at the Dairy Queen, MY answer is always WELCOME TO SURF CITY. Yes, I have acclimated to the warmer weather, too. I feel the cold weather more than I did ten years ago. My wonderful wife, Helga, says that is old age. I am surprised that she says that because she is older than I am. I won't say how much older because as all my readers know - I am a gentleman! Speaking of age and old people, my sister, who is older than I am, reminded me recently that today - the 20th of December, 1957 - was a sad day in her life and many other teenagers. Elvis Presley received his draft notice for the U.S. Army. I think she said that he was spending the Christmas holidays at Graceland, which he had just purchased. I was just a toddler when it happened, but I do remember my sister and all my girl cousins crying and crying. Okay, moving on, and I don't want to get negative because it is the season to be jolly. So I won't talk about the bus drivers, who work for the Brunswick County School System (North Carolina). They could see some additional money in their paychecks in the new year. All they have to do is to show up for work on time. I was always early for work. I never received additional money for that. Okay, enough of that. Let's talk about animal crackers. I just found this out about a week ago in an e-Book about Christmas traditions. Animal crackers were produced to be edible Christmas tree ornaments. "Nabisco introduced Animal Crackers to the American public in 1902 as a seasonal item, and its brightly colored boxes were promoted as Christmas tree ornaments." I always wondered - as a kid - why the box had a string. Now, I know. BTW, I might take next week off so to all my friends and readers - I would like to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a healthy New Year!
Tuesday, December 13th, 2011.... Well, it looks like my comments about GPS chips for humans will have to wait another week. The topics in Rambling Notebook have increased tenfold thanks to my lovely daughters. Let's start with our older daughter, Sue. No, I won't give her age away - not that she cares, but because she looks great for her age. The reason that I won't state her age is because I don't want my wife feeling old. Let's get back on topic. Sue flew down to spend Thanksgiving with us, and she stayed the following week, too. She said she had a great time. We took her out for dinner five nights. Her mother took her shopping and made her favorite meal, seafood lasagna. She received an early Christmas present, a Kindle Touch, from us. The weather was great so like I said I thought all went well. That was until I received an email from her last Tuesday. In her email, she thanked us for the great time that she had, naturally; however, she made two suggestions. Now, I don't know if her younger (the all-inclusive) sister influenced her in making these two suggestions; however, I do suspect collusion. I know my son, Rip, would not take part in any underhanded dealings because he never complains about the accommodations in Surf City. Sue did suggest in her email that her room needed a TV with a larger screen. Her room? Hmmmm? She also 'suggested' we get DirecTV in there instead of just cable-TV service. I remember when she was young and had to watch a black and white TV. She didn't even realize it was black and white; she saw color. Oh, well, times and demands sure do change with age. Moving on to the younger daughter, Diane. Last Saturday, Diane and JL took their children, Justin and Brady, to New York City to see the sights. While she was there she purchased an Elf on the Shelf or what I will call a Christmas Elf. Diane told us what the Christmas Elf does. Neither Helga nor I had heard the story so, naturally, I Goggled it. It originated in a self-published book in 2005 (The Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition) by Carol Aebersold and Chanda Bell(mother and daughter). The concept is great. It is such a great idea that I wish that I had it for my wonderful children. I don't want to take the space here to explain it, but if anyone would like an explanation of the Christmas Elf Tradition, check out the site http://elfontheshelf.com/AboutUs/TheTradition.aspx or read the book. It is on Amazon - sorry, hard copy only.
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